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Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Friday, April 12, 2013

(Ester's VIEWS from a BROAD) Letting it all HANG Out!

by Ester Goldberg

Former Tennessee Vice-Mayor Arrested For Drive-By Masturbation and hanging his Penis out the window! Moma..Look there's a dick going 90mph!!! and... Objects in mirror are larger than they appear.

Kim Kardashian: This bitch needs 8 cops to walk into court? Bitch please!

And she shows DUCK FACE........ Yesterday the worlds biggest home porn star turned reality shill turned Fame Whore walked into court to defend her 72 day marriage..was NOT a PR stunt for her reality show..


Monday, April 8, 2013

(Weeklings!): In Honor of Ebert, The Movies We Hated, Hated, Hated!

Even in the age of Rotten Tomatoes when all of film criticism is distilled into handy rubrics and composite grades, Roger Ebert's familiar, Pulitzer-stamped byline stood out from the pack. It was only Tuesday when Ebert announced he'd be taking a "leave of presence" from his astonishingly consistent dispatch of reviews, and Thursday brought the devastating news of his death from cancer at the age of 70. For many film lovers this is an unthinkable loss, one that compels us to circle back to the place we love most: the movies.

Ebert was direct, incisive, and heartfelt in his reviews, and when he hated a movie, he was often mercilessly funny. To celebrate the impressive rancor of his review anthology I Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie, this edition of Weeklings! focuses on the movies I've hated most -- and maybe you've hated them too. The usual suspects like Grease 2 and Crash appear, but look out for Moulin Rouge, Forrest Gump, and Vertigo too.

R.I.P. Roger Ebert. You taught us that being honest about the things we love is the right way to matter.

Friday, April 5, 2013

(Ester's VIEWS from a BROAD) What a POOP(er)!

by Ester Goldberg

MTV 'Buckwild' Star Shain Gandee Found Dead: REALITY TV KILLS people! Well...MTV should be be excited about this one.. as they continue to show Teens how to be total douchebags..and get famous... SAD. But, this is ratings for them..

Bat Shit Crazy GOP Sue Everhart says Straight people might Enter into Fake Gay Marriage

This crazy bitch didn't bother to mention that Straight folks bring over Russian Women for a 90 day test ride..and Marry for Immigration purposes..Now too easy to forget..

Georgia GOP Chairwoman and Moron, Sue Everhart warned that straight people might enter into fraudulent gay marriages to obtain benefits, the Marietta Daily Journal reported.

Monday, April 1, 2013

(Weeklings!) One Gay's Advice To All 9 Supreme Court Justices!

We've had a thrilling and exhausting week. With the Proposition 8 and DOMA Supreme Court hearings filling up my newsfeed (and Facebook feed, pleasantly enough), it's clear to me that gayness and social change are bigger mainstream topics than ever before. Which is nice, because it means we don't have to talk about how awful an album title, The 20/20 Experience is. Maybe next week.

Following Tuesday and Wednesday's hearings, I'm approaching all nine Supreme Court justices (yep, one at a time( like a bossy 5-year-old with a side ponytail and offering advice, cynicism, support, and even some actual ideas. After a week like this, I'm happy to release some vivacious fury. Hey, Scalia! I saved an extra minute for you and your Zero Mostel-esque tantrums! Weee!

Friday, March 29, 2013

(RANDY RAINBOW) Randy's Easter Fling with Pope Francis I !

Randy Rainbow is bringing a hot date to Seder this year. That's right, it's the new Pope! And who knew he had such a great singing voice?

(Ester's VIEWS from a BROAD) a WEEK of Bullsh*t!

By Ester Goldberg

Lindsay Lohan Drunk under table in Brazil! They keep hiring this train wreck??

In just a few hours after landing in BRazil.. Bitch is drunk ass under a table?..WHy do people keep hiring this train wreck?

TMZ says bitch was at the club for hours and when a bunch of people started asking her to take pictures with them, she refused and hid from them under the table.

Tilda Swinton to sleep in a glass box as "ART".. Hipsters Cream their jeans..I call it Bullsh*t!!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

(JESSE on the BRINK) To the Supremes!.

by Jesse Archer

If you're wondering why Facebook has gone red this week it's because the Supreme Court is hearing arguments on Prop 8 and marriage equality.

Let's hope SCOTUS can distinguish between privilege and equality. Even people close to me biologically have trouble understanding this is a civil issue and not some kind of "special rights".

One of the litigants in a case is Edie Windsor who had to pay estate taxes to the tune of $360K after the death of her partner of 44 years - money she wouldn't have to pay if her partner were a man. Or my friend Lavi Soloway who has for years been fighting to stop DOMA and deportation of same-sex partners with foreign-born partners. The fact I have never been able to consider the option marrying my foreign born partners so they could stay in the USA. Consider the 1,138 rights and privileges granted by the government to married couples denied to some in the land of all men created equal.

Monday, March 25, 2013

(Weeklings!) When Michelle Shocked and Other Lady Singer-Songwriters Piss Us Off!

by Louis Virtel 

Michelle Shocked, the alternative folk singer who announced at a San Francisco gig that "God hates faggots" (Or not? She apologized? Whatever), probably hasn't gained any new fans in the past week. Still, I think her strange case warrants real attention. In today's Weeklings!, I discuss why Michelle Shocked's awful opinion matters more to me than, say, the opinion of most current Billboard hitmakers. Then for the hell of it, I talk about how other female singer-songwriters have hurt my feelings too, though not in as extreme ways. Annie Lennox, I'm taking you down, girl. 

Get More:

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

(JESSE on the BRINK) The Front Runner!

by Jesse Archer

The Front Runner, a 1974 novel from Patricia Nell Warren is "most celebrated gay love story ever" so it's a wonder I haven't read it until now. Not least because I'm a long distance runner!

I find the novel both completely outdated and yet in many ways current. Chiefly, it deals with the romantic relationship between 40 year old coach Harlan Brown and his Olympic-quality distance runner, Billy Sive. Even today that is provocative and to me, frankly, yuck. They also get "married" - still today, provocative. Today we still see massive homophobia in the sports world, even though it's no longer, as portrayed in the book, getting fired or facing threats, boycotts, and violence.

The Front Runner is dated in its portrayal of homosexuality - in Harlan Brown's repeated insistence on their masculinity, in his outright distaste for women (strange, as he was written by a woman), and often the sexual passages "they soaped each other's genitals" were cringe-worthy. And the talk of how good a dancer Billy was, gyrating his hips and wooing the "foxes" with his moves, to me rang false as having known hundreds of distance runners - not one of them can dance!

Monday, March 18, 2013

(Weeklings!) How Catholicism Made Me Gay!

by Louis Virtel

Pope Francis and I disagree about gay marriage, but I hope we can agree that Catholicism totally made me gay. Because it's true.

I spent 18 years as a practicing Catholic, and after much consideration, I realize I wouldn't be the towering gay organism I am now without my church background. In this edition of Weeklings!, join me as I explain how Catholicism made me gay, what I learned from Pope John Paul II, and why baptism was one of my greatest stage spectacles. I didn't even need the white smoke, guys.

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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

(JESSE on the BRINK) The Dark Side of Mardi Gras!

by Jesse Archer

Nothing says PARTY TIME FIESTA like encountering hordes of police and a phalanx of sniffer dogs.

For lack of any real problems in Australia, the government creates them. Such is the case with an overly intense police presence at Sydney Mardi Gras that includes drug dogs, humiliating and degrading strip searches of partygoers, and this year several accounts of police misconduct, including one caught on tape of 18 year old Jamie Jackson. I don't care what he did or whether he's innocent, but he was handcuffed and in custody when police officer 266 brutally threw him to the ground where he crash landed on his skull. There is no way this type of violence would have happened if instead of a petit young gay boy, he was a petite young girl.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

(JESSE on the BRINK) Mardi Gras with the HOFF!

by Jesse Archer

Sydney's heating up with Mardi Gras season in full swing and the tourists flooding in.

My radio show on 2ser has been a blast, interviewing everyone from gay foster parents to Sydney's member for Parliament Alex Greenwich, and look here I am with David Hasselhoff (BELOW)!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

(JESSE on the BRINK) Ending HIV!

by Jesse Archer

ACON has put out a very progressive new campaign to stamp out the transmission of HIV. It's targeted toward gay men, and its mission is to get everyone tested regularly. These kinds of campaigns have to walk that razor's edge between not stigmatizing the HIV-positive, while not scaring off the HIV-negative. But there's more to this one, watch and listen.

Knowledge is power - so if you know your status, you can go on treatment - and get your viral load down to undetectable. The voice of the campaign is familiar, with its message much like we hear on the street. At the film festival opening night, it received an ovation.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

(BILLY on the STREET) Gay Man Quizzed on Female Anatomy!

Billy Eichner attempts to find out how much one gay man knows about women's bodies. Will Johnny have to wear the "Me Don't Know Nothing" sign?

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

(JESSE on the BRINK) Gay Panic!

by Jesse Archer

You've heard of pop up bars, pop up shops, even restaurants, and now POP UP RADIO arrives and yours truly has been asked to host. I now get to exploit my gift of gab and gossip (food of the GODS) each weekday through Mardi Gras season. As I told the producers, my face is SO ready for radio.

Our show, GAY PANIC, is hosted by 2ser fm, Joy fm and the Star Observer. Find Star Observer Digital on your digital radio or stream it online here. I always thought Gay Panic would be an awesome band name, but until I learn to lift a tune (let alone carry one) a radio show it shall be.

(SHOWCASE) Casey Abrams is homeless!

My Pal, Casey Abrams is Homeless, but he isn't alone. Look for my Pal, Blake Lewis plus Idol alums, Haley Reinhart, Paul McDonald, Bree Essrig, and Jack Black(?)!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

(JESSE on the BRINK) Why Am I?

by Jesse Archer

Here is a screen grab from my public FB page. It appears to be me, but it is really FB pretending to be me in order to tell me how and why Jesse Archer needs to post a status update about himself. Yes, my existential crisis approaches its apex. Who Am I?

Friday, February 1, 2013

(ester's VIEWS from a BROAD) a WEEK of being NAUGHTY!

by Ester Goldberg

Ron Jeremy is in critical condition at an L.A. hospital ... and is being treated for an aneurysm that was located near his heart!

Ron's manager, Mike Esterman, tells TMZ ... Ron drove himself to Cedars-Sinai hospital Tuesday afternoon after experiencing severe chest pain. Docs examined the legendary porn star ... and discovered the aneurysm.

According to Esterman, Ron's condition's worsened and he was transferred to the ICU. He's currently being prepped for surgery.

Porn On Bus: Employee Accidentally Shows X-Rated Movie To Patrons ( it wasn't FREE WILLY)!

Some riders on a Chilean inter-region bus on the Valparaiso line got a bit of a surprise when an employee apparently showed them a hardcore porn movie by accident.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

(Jesse on the Brink) Happy 'Straya Day!

 by Jesse Archer

The long weekend was meant to be all wet - and began with a biathlon at Boy Charlton pool. My swim club buddy Drew and I SURVIVED. This easy breezy biathlon is fast becoming a weekly habit.

After that, the weekend raced quickly downhill! 

Hit a pool party at my former CEOs, and caught up with loads of friends including gorgeous Andrea.
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