(BREAK the ILLUSION) Get A Date Online: Hot Profile Makeover!

From drab to fab, special thanks to my friends from "Secret Guide to Fabulous" on Logo: http://www.logotv.com/shows/secret_gu...

(OGL) Reality Check: You May Never Find Someone!

by Nicholas Marlin

It's a picturesque Saturday morning in Palm Springs. I am gently swaying on a cozy swinging bench, watching birds in the orange trees in the reflection of the placid pool water in front of me. The aroma of ripe oranges and sounds of nearby water fountains mixed with chirping birds perfects the scene. In this setting I cannot help but think about how inspiring and amazing my friend Bruce is who owns this exquisite little home that he calls his, "little desert retreat." Bruce is an amazing man, but what inspires me most about him is that it's abundantly clear that he's happy, in love with his life, and unlike so many others, perfectly content being single.

As the co-founder of a leading relationship-focused gay and lesbian dating site, OneGoodLove.com, what I am about to say may come as a shock to you: You may never find someone. No matter how hard you try, how many dating sites you subscribe to, how many dates you go on, how many frogs you kiss, the unfortunate statistical truth is that not everyone finds the man or woman of his or her dreams. You may wonder why I would say that. My only intention in divulging that harsh reality is to have it serve as the catalyst for you yourself coming to the realization that regardless of your relationship status, you can be happy, whole, and in love with your life.

Too many of my friends, people I talk to, and profiles I read of members on my dating site believe that in order to be happy they need to find a partner or meet someone. Some people go as far as acting desperate, miserable, and unhappy admittedly as a result (in their own minds) of being single. These unfortunate people would argue that it's a "chicken before the egg" dilemma, where they could only possibly be happy after they were to find someone. For you singles out there dredging through a meager existence due to your relationship status, I have another reality check: You aren't going to attract anything but other dredgers to console you in your solitude.

(BREAK the ILLUSION) Straight Boys Hugging!

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(Portland Hotties) Nick Mattos!

via FB

With MK back in his hometown or Portland, OR this week, he will be talking to some of the Movers and shakers and Hotties that Portland has to offer. Please comment if you have some questions you want MK to follow up with!

Name: Nick Mattos

Hails from: Sebastopol, CA

Age: 30

Occupation? Writer

What you like best about Oregon? Living at the far edge of the frontier.

Hobbies? Reading, writing, transcendental meditation, whiskey-drinking, camping, yoga, roughhousing, wandering around.

Boxer or Briefs? boxer briefs.

Dream Date?: It involves a clear night, some good beer, and a quiet place located high above the city from which we can see the buildings all lit up below.

Make it Legal? (Will you Get married?): I was actually engaged once about a decade ago, and while I didn't end up getting married, I did recently write a column contemplating the experience. This excerpt sums up my thoughts well: "Was I ever actually ready to get married? I think back to that fiancé and can safely say no, that in the light and heat of being 21 I certainly wasn’t. Maybe marriage isn’t about readiness, though; perhaps it’s about deciding to become ready, to call the community around you and state, 'Listen up, family, friends, government, God, everyone. We’re going to try to make this work forever, but we can’t do it on our own.' Perhaps the marriage certificate, and the wedding dress, and the Jordan almonds that the guests receive are all just a coded plea, a means of crying out to everyone who can hear: 'Please, please, please help us make this relationship work.' I could not make that cry then, and perhaps I never will — but I am willing to be surprised."

 Oregon will be voting on Marriage Equality this coming November. Please check out Oregon United for Marriage and offer your support! 

(ASK MISTY): Why are you against Online Relationships?

Dear Misty, You have done several videos coming out against Online Relationships. WHY? Don't you know that several people have met spouses online. I only ask because I recently met someone online and he lives in another state and I think he could be the one. WTFIWWOR

(ASK MISTY): Young - Gay - Christian and Struggling!

(BREAK the ILLUSION) How Gay Guys Flirt!

These are some of the many ways that some gay guys flirt! Thanks to The Wing Girls: http://www.youtube.com/thewinggirls

(OGL) Being Open to Love!

by Nicholas Marlin


Love is such a powerful thing. Even the word itself can evoke strong emotion -- unless, of course, you've shut yourself off to it. And unfortunately too many people in this world have. I consider myself an expert in this area, not only because I'm the cofounder of OneGoodLove.com, a long-term dating site committed to helping gay and lesbian singles find love, but because I am such a loving person myself. I'm flooded with feeling when I think about love, especially how much in love with my partner I am.

But it's not just my partner. I love my friends, my family, my career, my life, my wonderful neighbors and their cute little dog! Nauseating? Perhaps, but it's how I live my life and I love it. There is a tremendous amount of joy and happiness in my life, which is directly related to being open to both receiving and giving love.

(Jet City Boy Culture) Breaking All the Rules!

A writer's journey of dating and living gay in Seattle exposed.

by Tristan Wilde

As a society, our day-to-day lives are vastly dictated by a number of rules. Some rules are put into place to maintain civility, while others are intended to incorporate trust and consistency into our actions. Certain rules have become such a staple to our existence, that they are common sense. For instance, we cannot expect to drive ninety-five miles per hour in a fifty-five mile per hour zone without realizing there’s a chance of being pulled over by the police. There are other rules that become new to us and to which we must grow accustom. For example, if we start a new job, the company’s employee guidelines will surely differ from those companies for which we’ve previously worked. Then there are those rules we bestow upon ourselves to maintain structure in our lives. Perhaps we go to bed at a certain time every night so that we can wake early enough to make the most of our day. These are not rules by which we have to live; rather, they are rules we choose to follow. However, there is one common denominator to all these rules. It’s quite simple. If we break the rules, there are usually consequences.

(OGL): 10 Ways To Get Your Profile Noticed!

By Mark Strong
Certified Professional Life Coach

After writing and reading thousands of profiles over the years, I have gathered plenty of best practices that can help anyone catapult themselves to the front of the line.

Not every tip will be relevant to you, but many of them will likely be. Engage them as appropriate and watch as your connections dramatically increase.
 
Check OUT More from One Good Love!

(OGL) 5 Important Steps In Finding One Good Love!

By Mark Strong,
Certified Professional Life Coach


Congratulations on making the next perfect step toward finding the relationship you want. To get you moving in the right direction, here are 5 “must remember” steps that are true for every relationship-minded man or woman who searches for love online.

Find OUT what they are at One Good LOVE!

(BREAK THE ILLUSION) BEST Sex, Dating & Relationship Questions Answered!

(SPECIAL) Need a Splash of Gay Romance to Brighten Up Your Dreary Winter?

Ah yes, "first love". How sweet it is.

(OGL) Eight Things to Do Before Going Back on the Dating Scene!

By Gena Hymowech

So you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, and you’re anxious to get back in. But wait! There are a few things you may need to do first, to improve your chances of success.

Click Here to Find Out!

(OGL) Five Online Dating Communication Turn-Offs!

By Gena Hymowech

OneGoodLove

One might think finding and communicating with potential love matches online would be easier than doing so in person. Online, we don’t have to worry about our messy hair, worn-out clothes or bad table manners, for example. In fact, establishing a relationship online can sometimes be even more difficult for those not used to the experience. Online dating has its own set of quick turn-offs for potential mates important to avoid.

Find Out at OneGoodLove!

(OGL) Is He Right for Me?

By Brian Rzepczynski,
Certified Personal Life Coach

When you’re dating someone, it’s very important to always be on alert to determine if you and he are compatible for the potential for a long-term relationship. This screening process should be done before and throughout the pre-commitment phase of the relationship. By gauging your goodness-of-fit early on in your dating relationship, you’ll either be laying the foundation for a bond of trust and intimacy or you’ll be disengaging from further connection before becoming too emotionally invested. It’s critical to discover this information as early on in your dating as possible to avoid becoming overly-attached and developing expectations that would likely lead to disappointment and grief.

In determining your compatibility with a new guy you’re seeing, here are three categories of questions you might consider asking yourself to help along with your decision-making process.

Check OUT One Good Love for the Full article!

(POP NEWS) Coming Clean; Kewl Globes; Denial; Duh; Shallow; Complex; Lips; Milk; DiCapio's Date!

• CLEAN: Armstrong Admits Doping!

• KEWL: Globes Were Actually Pretty Awesome!

• DENIAL: Fierstein is“desperately trying to be fair to Jodie Foster” for how how she handled coming out!

• DUH: Victor Garber Confirms a Fact 'Everybody Knows': He's Gay!

• SHALLOW: Rupert Everett think Hollywood structure prevents gay actors who want mainstream careers from coming out!

(OGL) No One Likes A Houdini!

By Mark Strong (aka The Gay Life Coach),
Certified Professional Life Coach

For One Good Love

When it comes to breaking it off with someone, we tend to let fear get the best of us. Some of us choose to fly the scene and let our silence do the work. This is a readily available crutch, especially in the world of online dating. I am sure you have been at the receiving end of this at some point so you know how it feels when someone disappears. It sucks.

Don’t pull a Houdini. Man/woman up and be honest about your feelings and your desire to end the relationship.

Read More at One Good Love!

(OGL) Gaysians are Beautiful: Racial Lookism and Why the Gay Rainbow Needs to Embrace More Colors of Beauty!

by Jimmy Nguyen

One Good Love

“No Fats, Femmes or Asians.”  All too often, that ominous alert appears in profiles on gay dating and matching web sites.  It screams that the ideal of gay male attractiveness in America is not Asian, nor “Fat” nor “Femme.”  This warning is also the provocative title of a comedy show from Alec Mapa, the self-proclaimed “America’s Gaysian Sweetheart.”  Like Alec, I am also a gay/Asian double-minority.  With the title “No Fats, Femmes or Asians,” Alec succinctly raises questions I faced my entire adult life:  are Asian men unattractive to much of America’s gay community?  Are we ostracized like others with “undesirable” traits?  The truth is neither black nor white, but some shade of grey.   Yet this much is clear:  it’s time for gay men to embrace a more universal vision of beauty, one that appreciates every color of our rainbow.

Find Out MORE at OGL! 

DEBUT! (Jet City Boy Culture) A New Beginning and The Stylist!

A writer's journey of dating and living gay in Seattle exposed.

by Tristan Wilde

So there’s this guy that I’ll call The Stylist. Our meeting starts out as nothing more than a friendly, “Happy Birthday” gesture made on my Facebook timeline. I’m one of those people who has thousands of “friends” on the social networks, and The Stylist is one such “friend” who I don’t personally know. Nonetheless, his post comes at just the right time in the early morning (before it gets buried beneath thousands of other birthday messages) and I send him a private message thanking him for the kind gesture. Although I’m tired and just getting ready for bed (it’s 3 o’clock in the morning, mind you), he immediately responds to my message. He asks me where I’m at in Seattle (obviously noticing my location shown on my profile). I tell him that I’m in the northern part of the city, adding that I just moved here from Phoenix. Within seconds, he responds back with, “I used to live in Scottsdale. We should go for coffee or drinks soon.” I reply back from my smartphone since I can barely keep my eyes open and have already crawled into bed. “Sounds good. Send me your number and we’ll coordinate.”