Last month, during the Seattle Lesbian and Gay Film Festival I had the pleasure to meet and chat with the Writer and Star of 'I DO'. Now that Washington, Maine and Maryland have joined New York as well as others to allow same-sex marriage, 'I DO' goes beyond the state protections and focuses on another cause that I think needs to be resolved. As I learned from my interview (June 2011) with Judy Rickard and her book, Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law, state protections are not recognized under federal immigration law. David W. Ross' 'I DO' is a beautifully written and acted that brings up the issue.
MK: David, I would like to ask you about what inspired you to write this story?
ROSS: Well, what it was I was in a relationship with somebody from England who couldn’t get their paperwork. And we tried to do the bi national relationship, and neither of us could really afford it and so we decided not to continue. And we were pretty upset for quite some time. So instead of writing this kind of gay green card movie or something that’s really funny, or Twist, something about Green card movies . And then over the years in working with and shooting rallies and realizing that there are families involved and this is a very serious issue, I just thought that I had an opportunity and obligation to basically tell a story that was more emotionally effective and that could show people what it’s really like. I think so many times in gay movies we take a more comedic slant on the gay experience, and I think sometimes you have to be more real and more serious to really tell the story effectively.
MK: And it was also extremely well, it was beautifully written and beautifully acted. Did you have pull in regard to casting?
ROSS: Yeah, I was a producer as well, Stephen Israel, I was completely involved in everything. I mean I had lived with the story for nine or ten years, so for me, to have that kind of ability to, you know, Glenn was very gracious and everyone was very cool, and it was my first film, so but I was so strong in what I wanted to do. I was really lucky that everyone was, you know, cool enough to allow in my input. And actually when I saw Tara for the first time I knew instantly that she was going to be my muse. And when I saw Mano's reel for the first time, I was like, that’s Mano! He’s not what I thought he was going to be as a writer, but when I saw his reel I just knew instantly this gut reaction. And I pretty much have gone on gut the whole time. I don’t have much experience, but I do. (Laugh)
MK: And actually I remember you, you played one-half of the Gay couple in Quinceañera...
ROSS: Yes, 2006. I was very lucky. I wrote that because I had a relation to the new manager, I wanted to be in the movie, I found something online, spent a couple of bucks, threw in my resume and I got Cast, it was pretty cool. Amazing Experience.
MK: Okay, in the the 'I Do' film is set New York, it should be legal. But then I realized, oh, it’s not federally recognized. I’m glad that you were able to go with that option.
ROSS: Yeah, and I think, I mean, obviously that’s been my biggest fight. And the funniest thing, over the years, talking to people, especially educated gay people, there’s a Civil Rights issue. And very complex, and very complicated. And I get very irritated when gay people are mad at straight people but a lot of cases I’ve realized how little life they had. And if they did I think more people would be angry. There are 1,300 federal level rights that you don’t have on a state level marriage. One thousand three hundred. A lot. And immigration is just one of them, obviously. Hospital visitation, which is talked about, there are so many end of life rights that we don’t get, but there are so many every day rights, including taxation and all, if you’re in a couple that’s not recognized and the bread winner isn’t the one with the kids, you’ll get audited every single year if you don’t understand how the present, biologically, the mother has had two dependents, and yet you’re not making any money, so we’re taxed twice, and then we’re audited. And that costs thousands of dollars every single year. So there are these things that you don’t realize until you realize. You don’t know until you hit against something you don’t have. And then you realize, holy shit, what the hell? You know?
MK: And of course it’s not just based on faith, it’s all really going to matter if Doma is repealed.
ROSS: If we could get rid of Doma everything’s going to change. The state by state thing unfortunately is not happen, and now in Washington they’re having a number, referendum #74. It’s the 35th time they’ve had this referendum. It would be amazing because it hasn’t happened and it’s very frustrating. And yeah, it’s part of the conversation.
MK: And what was your favorite scene in the movie?
ROSS: I think my favorite scene is when Myra and I have our argument. I mean it’s one of my favorite scenes, and it was very difficult for me, was saying goodbye. We can actually talk about that so people know what I’m doing.
ROSS: I don’t eat. (Laugh) But I drink.
MK: How much did you have to work out?
ROSS: To get ready for this film about 6-7 weeks. Now I’m just too busy. here and there.
MK: Well, thank you so much for talking to us and we appreciate it. And best of luck to you in your future and the film.
ROSS: Thank you, Michael, I appreciate it.
'I DO' is currently playing the Film Festival circuit. Go to their Blog for the latest news.
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