After watching this week’s episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race, I can now tell you who I want, and who I feel deserves to be both America’s Next Drag Super Star and Miss Congeniality. And it’s not even one of my top three picks. It’s one of the under-dogs, CoCo, Jinkx, or Alaska. By the end of this episode, one of these girls shined bright like a diamond, and one of them turned out to be a piece of coal, needing more time to grow into the future diamond she can possibly be, possibly.
Episode 10 of RuPaul’s Drag Race - Season 5, titled “Super Trooper”, paid homage to gay men in the military. Being fit is the one universal requirement for any man to be in the military. So, for the mini-challenge, RuPaul sent the girls through a mock boot-camp, where they were exercised to the point of exhaustion by Los Angeles fitness trainer, Storm. The girl who could exercise for the longest would be the winner of the mini-challenge. It ended up being Alaska, surprisingly.
For the main challenge, the girls had to give a gay military veteran a drag-makeover. In addition to having a cohesive look, each team had to choreograph a patriotic flag routine. As the winner of the mini-challenge, Alaska got to pick which girl got which vet. Alaska said she paired the vets with the girls in order of appearance, but I think it was more sinister than that. Because at the end, Alaska’s biggest competition, Roxxy and Jinkx, ended up with the most difficult vets to work with. Roxxy’s vet was the shortest, fattest, and hairiest of the bunch, while Jinkx’s vet was the oldest and also suffered from HIV/AIDS related issues (e.g. Muscle-atrophy; Lipodystrophy) which left him with weak legs and top-heavy.
Although Roxxy and Jinkx were given the most difficult vets to make-over, that didn’t stop them from ending up with the two best routines. Jinkx had the most challenging case, but she made it work by creating a Judy Garland & Liza Minnelli routine that brought the house the down. If Jinkx’s vet could have worn heels and sported a look other than that poncho-style, black, afghan dress, I’m sure they would have been named the winner of this week’s main challenge.
Instead, that honor went to Roxxy, and rightfully. She definitely showed her pageant queen background with this challenge. To start with, I didn’t even recognize her vet when they walked out. Roxxy shaved his body up, beat his face down, and dragged him out, leaving us with a flawless ’Roxxy mini-me’. Their looks and flag routine were the most patriotic of them all. And when they did that ‘stripper booty shake then look back’ move at the end in perfect synchronicity, I couldn’t help but throw my hands up and scream, “You win. You win.”
Alaska paired herself with the vet who needed the least amount of face beating, but it didn’t do her any good. Wearing matching black, leather cat suits, it was impossible for their looks to be ‘patriotic’. And their sexually explicit flag routine left me in shock; I couldn’t believe they were doing it. Luckily for Alaska, Detox and Coco ‘fucked it up’.
I don’t know what Detox and her vet were wearing. All I remember is, they looked like chickens. And with the dropped flags in their routine, Detox deserved to be put in the bottom two. Coco also ended up in the bottom two for sending her vet out looking “busted”. And that’s the judges’ word, not mine. But, I would have to agree. Coco know she could have did something about her vet’s bushy mono-brow.
Now, after watch this episode, I am officially endorsing and predicting that Jinkx Monsoon will be America’s Next Drag Super Star and Miss Congeniality. Mark my words. And when it comes to pass, say you heard it from me first.
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