The final elimination happened very fast, with Jessica Sanchez the first to sail to safety, followed by a quick few seconds of her trying to pretend like she had no idea this was coming since she was given the prime closing slot on the first episode of the season with “I Will Always Love You,” later reinforced by her snatching that judges’ save. (Mouth drops open, eyebrows arch, hand covers face. Girl needs some acting lessons.) And then we went right along to the decision between Phillip and Joshua. The two friends?/frenemies? huddled close as Ryan Seacrest read out the name of the person “going head-to-head with Jessica” next week. There was barely a moment of suspense before he just came out with it: Phillip.
Only Jennifer looked to be in any way affected by the news, demanding a hug of Josh mid-song, and straining so hard to hold back tears that she kind of looked like Phillip does whenever he sings.
So one week too early, all the tension and suspense in the show is officially gone. It doesn’t really matter what happens now anyway. Jessica has seemed like the clear winner from day one. And guys like Phillip win every year. Both of them will do just fine (so will Joshua). So either way, it’ll be just as we suspected all along. A Joshua-Jessica finale was the only chance that next week’s finale would have had any heat. But as Joshua sang last night, “No More Drama” on this show.
In other news, Lisa Marie Presley is my new favorite person. Her performance of “You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet” was totally creepy and had just the right amount of Stevie Nicks-brand goth to it. She was everything that Adam Lambert, tonight’s other guest performer, once showed potential to be. Instead of the dark side he hinted at back when he was a contestant, tonight he was pretty upbeat, glowing in the dark and dancing around with his gospel lady backup singers on a fun single “Never Close Our Eyes.” It was neutrally enjoyable.
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