Episode 5 of RuPaul’s Drag Race was crazy as usual. It was this season’s “Snatch Game” episode. And for the most part it was sloppy. For the record, let me just say, “I despise toilet bowel humor.” I find it offensive and unsophisticated.
And on that note, I will start with reading Jiggly Caliente first. Her impersonation of Snooky definitely belonged in a toilet bowl, and flushed away. What was all that “booty popping” she was doing? It was so not cute.
If I had to pick a bottom three, Jiggly would definitely be in it, because her runway look was not that impressive either. It was just an off-the-rack prom dress. Please. However, there were two that was much more worst than Jiggly, and who ended up being in the bottom two. Kenya Michaels and Milan. Kenya Michaels made a big mistake choosing to impersonate Beyonce. It just didn’t work. Kenya’s version of Beyonce had the girl looking like she was hyped up on uppers. She didn’t say much. She just rooster-necked her head a lot and flipped her hand back and front. I was like “What?” Although she had a decent runway look, it wasn’t enough. Milan’s impersonation of Diana Ross was not any better. I was ready to slap that bitch, and say “Diana Ross does not look, nor act that way. You’re confusing her with Whitney.” She had her looking and acting like she was on crack. But what I hated most was that gold eye-liner. It made her look like she was a black chinese lady.
Kenya Michaels and Milan ended up being in the bottom two, and luckily for Milan they had to ‘lip-sync for their life.’ Because, if they were judging on performance and runway alone, I wouldn’t even be nice to Milan, and just tell her to ‘get out bitch’ after what she sent down the runway. I forgot who she said her inspiration was, but she wore a boy tux, with boy shoes, with a nappy bouffant wig. All I could think was ‘boy, you are in trouble.’ But Milan had that last chance to save herself, and luckily the song was Madonna’s “Vogue.” And that bitch VOGUED. Kenya Michaels just couldn’t keep up, and ended up having to ‘sashay away.’
As for the rest of the girls, I’m going to start with my favorite to win, Sharon Needles. She wasn’t the winner this episode, but she was definitely a close second. For the Snatch Game, she impersonated Michelle Visage. She didn’t impersonate her pitch perfect, not at all. Instead, she played a version of Michelle Visage that was so warped, it was brilliant. It was like a Cruella De Vil version of Michelle Visage. And the girl was funny. She is so funny. Sharon’s runway look was brilliant also; imagine Patsy in a rehab spa immediately after plastic surgery.
Next up is Chad Michaels. She was the winner this episode. I didn’t care much for her runway look, which was just a giraffe print cat suit with oval cut-outs at the hips. The best part of her runway look was her neon yellow wig - ‘thank God she gave me something to look at.’ Her runway was a “took nothing” look, meaning the look took no effort nor took any money to create. I like to see work, effort, and details in a look, which you do by either creating it or buying it. That being said, I will say Chad Michaels’ impersonation of Cher rocked. Not only was she funny, but she had four costume & wig changes without anybody even noticing. This bitch is a true “professional.”
Willam was next best. She impersonated Jessica Simpson on the Snatch Game, and did a decent job. Willam needs to be a little bit more animated, instead of such a polished ice queen. A little bit of personality would go a long way for this girl. And her runway look was designer, but I didn’t like it that much. The designer motorcycle chick look seemed to be missing something but I’m not sure what. I just know it wasn’t right.
Although I would prefer not, I have to give an honorable mention to the other girls, Latrice Royale and Dida Ritz. Latrice impersonated Aretha Franklin for the Snatch Game. I wasn’t impressed, but I wasn’t horrified either. And Latrice’s runway look bored me, but wasn’t God awful. Dida Ritz impersonated Wendy Williams for the Snatch Game. And on a scale from one to ten, I would give her a two, for two reasons. One, Dida is too skinny to be trying to play Wendy Williams. And two, Wendy Williams do not wear wigs made out of synthetic hair. Wendy Williams’ wigs are made from real Eastern Indian hair. You can tell the difference. And Dida’s runway look was second to the worst. She wore a skirt made out of stuffed animals. If Kenya wouldn’t have ‘fucked it up’ on the Snatch Game, Dida would be in the bottom two with Milan. Oh well, I’m sure Dida’s next to be in the bottom two.
We’ll find out next week.
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