FASHION: UBS's Bizarre Dress Code: Easily Washable Underwear!

Swiss bank UBS AG really, really cares how its retail banking staff looks. Details from its new 43-page dress code, part of a campaign meant to re-establish confidence in the brand, via the Wall Street Journal:

Colors: Dark gray, black, and navy blue “symbolize competence, formalism, and sobriety.”

Makeup: “Light makeup consisting of foundation, mascara and discreet lipstick ... will enhance your personality,” but no black nail polish, please.

Underwear: Yes, the bank even has a section on this … it recommends high-quality, easily washable, but of course undetectable undies.

Hair: Studies have shown that a stylish cut will “increase an individual’s popularity,” the manual makes sure to note.

Socks: Black knee-highs, so as not to accidentally flash bare skin.

Watches: Are good, because they suggest “reliability and great care for punctuality.”

No-nos: Excessive facial hair, bad breath (“Avoid garlic and onion-based dishes,” the guide advises), tacky-looking hair dye to hide gray (The “artificial color contrasts excessively with the actual age of your skin,” it warns).