‘DWTS’ Tells a Story, Michael Bolton Returns!

Despite scoring pretty darn well on last week's Dancing With the Stars, Bristol Palin found herself back in the bottom two last night. Her foxtrot didn't impress the judges ("You're not Meryl Streep yet," said Bruno Tonioli), who gave Palin and partner Mark Ballas a total score of 19.
The bottom spot, however, belonged to Margaret Cho and her score of 18.

Before we get to the Week 3 performances, this just in: Michael Bolton will return to the ‘Dancing with the Stars‘ stage Tuesday night to perform in place of ‘Talent’ sensation Susan Boyle. He plans to sing “Hallelujah,” which Boyle was scheduled to belt out before having to cancel due to a sore throat. Married dance pros Jonathan Roberts and Anna Trebunskaya will dance along to the performance.

Okay, on with the show…

When it comes to the much-loved ‘Story Night’ on ‘DWTS,’ it’s open season on potential trainwrecks thanks to the encouraged use of props (or as Len Goodman calls it ‘messing about’–everyone knows how much Len Goodman hates props!) and the occasional attempt at ‘acting’ by the ‘Stars.’

Fortunately for us, and for the dancing in general, no one even came close to a dance floor disaster on the level of say Kate Gosselin’s freaky-deaky “Paparazzi” Paso Doble from last season. That said, Bristol Palin had the poorest showing with her lackluster Fox Trot in a bizarre storyline about a homeless man and a passerby breaking into dance. The story didn’t make sense, but what was more confusing is why the judges are still do darn nice to her. Why? Just because she’s the youngest contestant and not a legitimate celebrity? If there were cause for a nasty comment this week – a la Bruno-Gate over putting Michael Bolton in the doghouse – it would’ve been for Palin’s performance.

My vote for best prop of the night had to be Jennifer Grey’s ruler in her “Hot for Teacher”-themed Samba with Derek Hough. Second best prop was the duct tape Brandy put over her mouth in rehearsal to show her partner Maks that she’s ready to shut up and listen. Good. Idea.

Speaking of Jennifer and Derek … is it okay that they re-danced a tiny section of their sexy Samba for the judges after the judging took place? Hmmm. Seems they gave the viewers a little something extra to vote on and that doesn’t seem fair to me. The pair once again scored a 24, but for the first time in three weeks, it was not the top score of the night. That honor went to Tony Dovolani and ‘Hills’ star Audrina Patridge, who showed her serious side in the Viennese Waltz.

Bitchy moment of the night: Len snapping at Maks for smacking Brandy in a storyline about a bodyguard. Guess he just didn’t get it, but he certainly got heated over it.

Quote of the night: “This is the gayest thing that ever happened,” joked Margaret Cho in her rainbow-colored fringed dress, dancing a free-spirited Samba to one of the gayest songs ever, “Copacapana.”

File under, Say What?: Co-host Brooke Burke’s latest blooper occurred when she told Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya that their score of 23 was the highest score of the night. Oopsie. Not true, since Jennifer and Derek’s dance brought in a 24 prior to it.

Enough of that. On to the dancing…

Audrina Patridge and Tony Dovolani: Viennese Waltz
Score: 26


Brandy and Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Samba
Score:24

Jennifer Grey and Derek Hough: Samba
Score: 24

Rick Fox and Cheryl Burke: Fox Trot
Score: 24


Kurt Warner and Anna Trebunskaya: Fox Trot
Score: 23


Kyle Massey and Lacey Schwimmer: Viennese Waltz
Score: 23


Florence Henderson and Corky Ballas: Viennese Waltz
Score: 20


Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino and Karina Smirnoff: Fox Trot
Score: 20


Bristol Palin and Mark Ballas: Fox Trot
Score: 19


Margaret Cho and Louis Van Amstel: Samba
Score: 18

Looking forward to Tuesday’s results show: In addition to Michael Bolton, Ne-Yo will perform his latest hit, “One in a Million.” But the performance I’m really excited about is Mark Ballas playing guitar in a face-off with violinist/dancer Val Chmerkovskiy (Maks’ brother) to, get this, Britney Spears’ “Toxic,” while Tanisha Belnap and Lacey Schwimmer dance along. Yep. You read it right: a violin-guitar duel between two dancer slash musicians to a Britney Spears song. It doesn’t get any better than that!