(HOW TO) Tell If Someone Is Gay?

Gaydar. Oh yes, it's real. It might be a look, a smile, a wink, or if you're lucky, a pinch on the tookus in a dark and crowded nightclub. What were we talking about? Ah, yes, gaydar.

Some people, especially yours truly, have a sixth sense. I can't explain it, but I could pick a fag out of a redneck picnic, any motorcycle gang, most professional football teams, and I'd bet I could pick a hundred or two out of the republican national convention. I kid you not. There's something about us gays that's a dead giveaway. No matter how hard I try to hide my gayness, some hunky male bitch always jimmies my jimmy. It's wonderful!

Gaydar is real!