(BREAK THE ILLUSION) Bedroom Life Lessons!

I recorded this video ages ago - but only got a chance to share it now! It's 29 life lessons, that I learned in the bedroom. Share your best bedroom-related life lesson in the comments below!




Here's my list:

1. When in doubt, douche it out.
2. Two penises are better than one.
3. Two bottoms don't make a top.
4. Up the bum no babies.
5. Shit happens. So don't buy white sheets.
6. Do it Nintendo style. Blow it before you stick it in.
7. If it's brown, turn him around.
8. It only seems kinky the first time you try it.
9. No one ever got herpes from sexting. Seriously.
10. Don't forget about the balls.
11. A total top is a bad top.
12. Christmas comes once a year, but I can come once a night.
13. Wash your dick.
14. Versatility multiplies your options by two.
15. The straighter they are, the harder they fall.
16. The most important ingredients in good sex are intimacy, connection, surrender and... lube that doesn't get sticky.
17. Oral sex is always a great last minute gift idea for the man who has everything.
18. Straight acting is another way of saying bottom.
19. Being naked is always a better option than doing laundry.
20. Every gay guy needs to sit on a dick at least once.
21. Surprise sex is a great thing to wake up to. Unless you're in prison.
22. If you can't find a good man, a good penis will do until he comes along.
23. A slut is anyone that gets laid more than you.
24. Buy expensive lube and use it like it's cheap.
25. One man's kinky is another man's vanilla.
26. Every no homo has a little bit of homo.
27. It's only gay if your balls touch.
28. BYOC. Bring your own condom.

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