HYBERNATION: 'Crazy' Wu Won't Seek Reelection!

Surprise! Mere hours after Nancy Pelosi called for an ethics investigation into a young woman's claim that she had an "unwanted sexual encounter" with tiger-suit-wearing David Wu, the Oregon Democrat is confirming that he won't seek reelection. Wu apparently hasn't decided whether to serve out the remainder of his term, a spokesman tells the AP, and will make that decision based on how effectively he can serve his constituents.