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Thursday, May 27, 2010

FUNNY (?): Look Out, Gay Soldiers Will Rape You in Your Sleep!


If Congress really repeals Don't Ask, Don't Tell, newly empowered gay soldiers will run amok, giving their straight colleagues non-consensual blow jobs when they're asleep or drunk, according to the Family Research Council. No really! They have a study to prove it! On a conference call to reporters, which Talking Points Memo listened in on, the FRC touted its new study, which it says proves that homosexual soldiers are three times more likely to commit sexual assault than straight ones.

See, 8.2% of military sexual assaults are homosexual, they explain, and only 3% of people are gay, while the 97% of the military that's theoretically straight is only committing 91.8% of the (reported) rape. Repeal DADT, and gay assaults will skyrocket, an FRC policy fellow argues. “The victim will think twice about coming forward,” he says, because the most common kind of homosexual assault is “one in which the perpetrator fondles or performs oral sex on a sleeping victim.” So their memories would be clouded, and commanders, afraid of being labeled homophobes, will sweep it under the rug. Besides, like women, they'll be afraid to report crimes for fear of being told they "asked for it."

HYSTERICAL!

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