GONE: House Ends Page (Booty Call) Program!

Gone are the days of House pages dashing furiously scribbled notes across the Capitol to their rep's legislative friends or foes: John Boehner and Nancy Pelosi today announced the end of the House's storied Page Program. Though Boehner and Pelosi hailed pages' "unique role" in the "history and traditions of the House," they said the program had been rendered antiquated by wireless communications—and they could no longer justify the whopping $5 million each year spent on pages. 

Of course, Politico notes, gone too are the inevitable sex scandals that crop up when naive youth are put in close proximity with powerful and at-times dirty old legislators—perhaps best remembered by, though by no means limited to, Rep. Mark Foley's epic downfall over suggestive texts he sent a male page. Other legislators and House staff have been busted over the years for sins ranging from having sex with pages to snorting cocaine with them. The Page Program dates to the First Continental Congress in 1774, notes Politico.