CULTURE: Cover Up Floated in Paul the Octopus' Death!

No sooner had Paul the psychic octopus died than the conspiracy theories started rolling in. Some believe the hapless sea creature who predicted World Cup soccer winners with deadly accuracy actually died months ago and was replaced by a doppelganger because, well, he was a big celebrity and no one could tell the difference anyway. The director of the upcoming movie thriller Who Killed Paul the Octopus said officials from Paul's German aquarium, which announced they were eager to help with film distribution, seemed "nervous." Jiang Xiao refused to divulge further details about her theory.

Aquarium officials tried to quickly scotch rumors. "It's certainly not true that Paul died in the summer," said a spokesman. "He died a simple and straightforward death." It will soon be too late to determine for certain: Paul will be cremated and his ashes placed on display in his long-time home. Did he predict his own death? "If he did, he kept it to himself," the spokesman tells the Guardian.