(ASK MISTY): 14 year old gay boy with anti gay christian Family!

dear misty i'm a 14 yr old in the closet bi sexual boy from KY. i struggle with my sexuality and it brings my great pain. i pray to god every night he will make me like everyone else and at time i put on makeup and sit in front of the mirror and cuss him i scream a him and ask why he made me this way. i fell i am discrete to my family and when i'm'18 i plan to leave and never say anything to them ever what should i do?am i going about this wrong? should i trust god even though he doesn't allow gays in heaven. asked by: brandon adrian