I cannot tell you how much I admire Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach for his nearly 20 years of service to our country. He flew 88 combat missions, 2,189 total flying hours, 1,487 fighter hours and 488 combat hours. He has received eight air medals, one for Heroism, and was hand-picked to protect the Washington, D.C. airspace after 9/11. He flew combat missions in Iraq and Afghanistan, targeting the Taliban and Al Qaeda.
His reward for his courage, his commitment and the his risking of his life? Having to keep his life as a gay man a secret – even from his family – and threat of discharge under the military’s discriminatory ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy. His discharge has been halted until court hearings can be scheduled.
All the discharges are an outrage but this one is just so outrageous, so wrong, that it is the perfect argument against continuing to treat gay and lesbian military personnel any different from their colleagues.
The personal price is something military personnel like Fehernbach have been willing to endure in order to serve. His sister, Angela Trumbauer, has written a heartbreaking letter to the military about this personal price.
Here is an excerpt:
Under “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” the Fehrenbach family has been robbed of truly knowing and loving our brother for who he is for nearly two decades. He chose to serve in silence to protect his own family – the only family he can legally call his own – from potential exposure to investigation under DADT. We can never get those years back. Nor can we accept the damage to and destruction of our family’s long-standing military history that will result from Lt. Col. Fehrenbach’s discharge under this discriminatory and unjust law. Our family legacy goes back generations, in which our father, mother, grandfathers, spouses, children, uncles and cousins have all answered the call to serve.
Despite all the suffering that Don’t Ask Don’t Tell has caused my brother and our family, we have reaped a benefit far greater than words can measure. Since I’ve come to know and understand my brother’s true identity, and because he no longer has to hide any part of himself from me, our relationship has become much closer and deeper, where we laugh and share more than ever before. Vic can now be completely open and honest with me – an element that was clearly missing in our lives and relationship in the past. I can’t express the immense pleasure I’ve experienced in getting to know my baby brother — “Uncle Baldy” as some of our 17 nieces and nephews call him.
