by Justin Hernandez
Dear Paris,
I let a few days pass by before posting this letter to you. My first
draft was filled with cheap shots about your level of intelligence,
your waning popularity, and references to the sex video that put you on
the map. I realized that if I submitted that version, I would be
allowing my anger to take the lead, and that is not my intention. I do
want to express my disappointment with your poor choice of words about the gay community; however, I'm hopeful that I can enlighten you in the process.
First of all, there is a difference between HIV and AIDS. HIV can
lead to AIDS, but thanks to advances in medicine, many people who have
the HIV virus are able to lead healthy lives. These people have high
T-cell levels, and in many cases they have an undetectable viral load.
Dismissive statements such as "most [men who use Grindr] probably have
AIDS" only hinder the progress of public awareness.
Paris, as someone who has done her fair share of dating, you have to
know that horniness is not a trait exhibited solely by gays. I believe
it's common among men in general. There is a ton of testosterone
coursing through the veins of the male sex. To say "gay guys are the
horniest people in the world" seems like a bit of a reach. I'm sure
there are just as many heterosexual men who think with their little
soldiers, as well.
It's unfortunate that the friend who was with you in the taxi didn't
take the time to inform you that Grindr has become part of modern-day
gay culture. Some of us love it, some of us hate it, but regardless,
we've all grown to accept its relevance in our social-media age.
Contrary to what you and your friend might believe, not everyone who
uses Grindr is logged on to engage in unprotected, anonymous sex.
Whether it's for networking, making friends, or dating, Grindr serves
many purposes for its subscribers. I myself have used it as a tool for
book promotion, and in the process I have met and dated a few guys
through the app. For the record, I'm HIV-negative. I know many other
guys who use this app, as well, and regardless of HIV status, nobody has
instantaneously contracted full-blown AIDS as a result of meeting
someone through Grindr. Yes, there are men who log on for booty calls,
but when you think about it, it's not any different from going out for a
night on the town and then returning home with the guy you connected
with at the club. This is just a different method of arriving at the
same result. As with any other resource for meeting and connecting with
people, Grindr is what the user makes of it. I've been solicited for
quickies with inappropriate messages on several occasions while scanning
the Grindr grid. It might make these men crude in my eyes, but it
hardly qualifies them as disgusting. As with the drunken guys who get a
little too pushy at the club, I ignore them and move on.
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