KISMET: George Clooney Kisses Billy Crystal in Oscar Opening Montage!
SNOBS: Iran Touts Oscar Win as Victory Over 'Zionists'!
Want an Oscar? Try Buying One!
SUNNY DAY: Global Happiness Tops Pre-Recession Levels!
The New Stigma: Asexuality!
BUSTED: Lawless Arrested After 3 Days on Oil Ship!
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